RE: Darkness surrounds me

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member You don’t have to be sorry, in no way are you intruding 😁😁

[Former-Member]

Hey @outlander @Former-Member

Not coping at all after the flashback early this morning, anxiety high and lots of SI/SH thoughts. I am going to take some “emergency meds” and hopefully go into la la land. Don’t really trust myself atm to be around anything. Luckily hubby is here to keep everything away from me. Will come back on when I am in a better headspace. Hope you both have good days today. @outlander Take it easy hun, @Former-Member thanks again for this morning 💗💗💗💗💖💖💖💖

[outlander]

keep safe sis @Former-Member

[Faith-and-Hope]

♥️ @Former-Member ..... thinking of you too .....

@Zoe7 and others are often up at night too @Former-Member ..... you might like to check in with each other on Night Shift thread to see who is around any time you are struggling.

[outlander]

@Former-Member

[Sans911]

@Former-Member are you ok hun? I've not talked to you much lately.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Sans911 @outlander @Faith-and-Hope

I am ok. A hard day today. I did sleep some of it which was good but now wide awake even though I am still exhausted. The pain in my head is unbearable lately and I will do anything to make it stop, however detrimental it is to myself. I don’t know why my flashbacks are so intense and vivid lately, but they seem to take a lot more out of me and a lot more time to recover. I just couldn’t do life today whether that was real life or forum life so I just hid. Hopefully you all have had ok days. I haven’t checked out your threads yet, but will soon.

Love to you all 💜💜💜

[Sans911]

Hey @Former-Member. I really can't imagine what your days are like; I've only had flashbacks a few times. But it sounds horrendous, scary and exhausting. It's ok to take time out of here. I get it. Would giving Blue Knot a call maybe help with your flashbacks? What does your pyschologist say about them?

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member I find it hardest to deal with the physical reactions when triggered or have flashbacks - and even more difficult that I can't explain exactly how I feel. I totally get how detrimental those intense and vivid flashbacks are - just like that for me earlier tonight - I am still feeling like I am back there. I can't shake the feeling tonight that 'it has just happened' - feeling incredibly sick yet numb at the same time - and very scared. My heart is still racing and the tightness in my chest has not abated. I am exhausted but definitely do not want to sleep - even though I have probably taken enough meds to sleep for a couple of days. But the fear of sleep is fuelling the adrenalin that will hopefully keep me awake - I hope!

[Former-Member]

@Sans911 I have spoken to blue knot a few time and whilst they are good, it is only so much they can do. They normally give good advice, but not anything  I haven’t heard/tried before. The psych hasn’t even started talking about the flashbacks, I think it is more about just getting me through the days and nights safely.

@Zoe7 I can totally understand toes flashbacks. I feel, like I am back to when it all happened, just  a scared little girl.

And now I atm fear sleep for what it could bring,

.

Nell