**Trigger warning** Stuck in world of sadness and Suicidal Ideation

[Faith-and-Hope]

I am pleased to read this post too @Sans911 ...... I believe in you ...... my S2 has just made an unpopular decision over his therapy ...... but he made a self-care decision !! The whole focus is to provide him with autonomy, and this is it ...... but perhaps not in the form anyone expected.

Wtg Hon ..... ❣️

[Sans911]

@Faith-and-Hope -thank you. I hope that the decision S2 has made for himself proves worthwhile for him. He is lucky to have an amazing, understanding mother like you. But I see too when we give people autonomy in their care, that can be scary for others to sit with. All you want is for them to be well, harmony restored, and I have seen how much of a roller coaster ride this is for you. Hugs

[outlander]

Im super happy to hear all this @Sans911 well done to you because i know its hard to reach out for help through times like this. That to me just proves how strong and capable you really are!
Sending lots of hugs ❣ and you can come sit on the other side of me and hold hands too 👭

[Sans911]

@outlander - I think I was saying in a discussion with @Evangeline that being strong and capable isn't always useful/helpful. It often means by the time I ask for help, I'm deep in :pile_of_poo:. These last 2 years especially have been even harder that I've had to be so vulnerable and say I'm not ok, I'm on a slippery slope. I have often said that sometimes I want to completely unravel and loose the tight rein of control I have, sit in a corner and let go of everything. It's happened a couple of times recently, but it's only been when I feel safe with someone that I trust them to take care of me. I now understand and have been more accepting that vulnerability=strength and courage not weakness or failure. When you start to accept this reality, it does make things easier at times.

[outlander]

@Sans911 sometimes our strongest point is often our weakest as well. As you said by the time we ask for help we're often in the deep end. However you have risen above that even if they are saving you from the tip of your finger you still asked for help. Im really proud of you for doing that 💖
I really hope this is that light in a tunnel for you sis 👭

[Former-Member]

It's hard @Sans911,as I depended on my mental health nurse and others,and their perspective can do harm at times they do treat you like a idiot .I give you credit for believing in people where I lost that through my experiences.Take care.😊

[Sans911]

@Former-Member I could not agree more that if you depend on your mh and nurse, they can harm you. I don't always believe in professionals though, I don't trust they always hear me or my needs. So often, they say to me this is what you said or did, and I get so mad that they sometimes twist my perspective or twist it around. Even this week, it took several conversations with my mh nurse for her to understand that I was trying to make the best decisions for me, and more importantly, I had given it thought and set my own boundaries.

[Former-Member]

Sad part for me @Sans911,is ....I thought the world of him,can't say it but it was hard .At the end of the day the reality is these people play with your life,can do a lot more harm than good.

[Sans911]

@Former-Member - yes hun I hear you. There is much evidence of this, even in these forums from several members.

[Sans911]

@Former-Member I'm answering you here to avoid going off topic on the other thread.

And I've tried about 3 times to answer this. So I'm giving more thought. I'll get back to you soon