**Trigger warning** Stuck in world of sadness and Suicidal Ideation

[Faith-and-Hope]

Not too bad @Former-Member ......

Being in limbo is weighing on me a bit. We were supposed to be heading east this week again but things have happened that have caused changes ...... waiting to see whether it all irons out and we still go, or whether it gets pushed back.

It's hard to find focus and grounding, but I have to get on with things anyway .....

So -
Made bed ✔️
Washing on ✔️
Coffeed ✔️
Breakfasted ✔️
Stalled ..... don't want to go home yet.

Have someone coming to work at the house at 10am ..... so I can stay stalled for another half hour or so .....

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope Yes being in limbo is hard to do. I feel that way with my meds at the moment. I had seen that there were some extended family issues going on, I hope all is ok.

well done for getting on with things. Might need to start my own checklist!

we are actually having some lovely weather in the east, not as hot as over where you are however☀️☀️

[Faith-and-Hope]

One of my motivators is to collect ✔️'s @Former-Member ......

I give myself any and every excuse to score a ✔️ cos each one means I have achieved something, where the temptation is to just curl up into a ball and do nothing, waiting for outcomes that are beyond my immediate control.

That's one reason why I plant my toosh in the coffee shop every morning for coffee .... it means I have to be dressed ..... and while I could drive, I make myself walk ...... and to "earn" my coffee I have to make the bed too ..... and if I put a load of washing on on my way out the door, I can tell myself I have done some housework.

Doing the dishes is another "have to" ..... bed and dishes, and sweep the floor if it needs it ..... that's the basics for a clean house, and that's my baseline.

All part of "having a day".

"It won't always be like this" is another mantra ....

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hopeit is good that you have motivators that can help you in this journey and feel that satisfaction of achieving these along the way. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

It's something of a panacea @Former-Member ..... a carer needs to avoid the pitfalls of situational
depression and that can be a real struggle ..... I try hard not to give it much foothold, and keeping busy is one key to that. When all motivation is absent it is important to create some somehow ...... have to try not to let a spiral begin.

In that way it has a common link with Lived Experience. Neither one is easy.

[Mandy1]

@Faith-and-Hope I am fighting a spiral today as I am watching my partners new meds slowly show their side effects - seems constant hand tremors and a little tremor in lower lip too ... also restlessness ... also just had full coronial document set arrive for my step fathers recent tragic unexpected death ... reading through those triggered raw grief again and definitely having to be super strong today to keep one foot in front of other as working from home and have soooo much work to catch up on !!!

[Faith-and-Hope]

Feeling for you too @Mandy1 ..... at least none of us are alone in the struggles .....

💐💕

[Mandy1]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope 🌸🌻🦄🦄🦄🦋🦋

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thank you to you too @Mandy1 ..... it makes a difference to be heard .....

[Sans911]

@Mandy1-what you are currently going through, on top of your husband's desth- that must be really, really difficult. My heart goes out to you hun. My nephew was killed instantly in a motorcycle accident after a short police chase, and although I wasn't super close to him, the impact of the ongoing investigations was really difficult for his mother, my sister. I felt so helpless, at that time watching her deal with all that & not being able to put closure on his death until it was all over. All I could do was try to help her at the end of the phone, and help her with the medical terminology.

I hope you have some caring, loving support around you to ease your burdens.