**Trigger warning** Stuck in world of sadness and Suicidal Ideation

[Former-Member]

I'm OK @Amour_Et_Psyche, knew I needed time out to calm down.Going to useless but nice Dr tomorrow who will probably only get me to hi-five him again .Thanks

[Phoenix_Rising]

Awwwww shucks, thanks @Sans911.

I know this is going to sound amazingly geeky, but I am sitting here reading the DSM-V (i.e. the "Bible" of psychiatry) and I can tell you that there are no identified subsets of BPD discussed anywhere in the section on BPD (which is on pages 663-668 of the DSM-V if anyone is interested).

I am noticing this more and more as I meander around Forum Land - people seem to be getting labels that simply do not exist in any formal sense. It is like mental health professionals are making up sub-labels of labels willy-nilly. That makes me cranky.

I'm wondering if next time you see this particular mental health professional @Sans911 you might like to ask them to show you where in the DSM-V this subtype of BPD is discussed - you know, just to mess with them.

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Sans911,
Don't mean to worry anyone, I know myself like you do when you aren't OK.

[Former-Member]

@Sans911, the approach and conduct of this "professional" today leaves a lot to be desired. Bit like me with the refusal to take antidepressants, its their answer to my problem to get me out the door,not mine when my environment and circumstances are shit.
Yes,I can only see the procedure as barbaric,and there is no evidence it works.And the movies do depict a pretty awful picture. I'd only have it done only after several consultations with several professionals.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member I am starting to make the move out of Forum Land for the night. However, I wanted to drop by once more and say that I totally hear your despair around employment. I do get sporadic gigs of marking etc. but I am totally dependent on the DSP as my main source of income. And realistically, the hopes of that ever changing are fading as the years go by.

I know you often talk about your mum as being a major source of distress @Former-Member. I'm super hoping this isn't inappropriate or insensitive but...the very nature of life means that you can be 100% certain you won't be trapped in the situation with your mother forever. That is one thing that you can be 100% certain will change at some point.

I truly do know how hard it is to keep on keeping on @Former-Member. I super hope tomorrow has some good in it for you. Good night. 

[Sans911]

@Phoenix_Rising only you would do that-look up the DSM! 😂 I've probably worded it the wrong way, but anyhoo, I've been diagnosed in the last 2 years with Bipolar 2, BPD, EUPD, & Adjustment Disorder.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Sans911 Some super quick googling just told me that EUPD = emotionally unstable personality disorder which is ANOTHER NAME for BPD that is used in some circles. I only spent two minutes googling, so I don't know where it originated from, but I can guarantee you that it is not in any way, shape or form either a distinct disorder or a subtype of BPD. Just go and ask google. Again, I have no idea why mental health professionals are so bizarrely obsessed with labels. It really is a hobby horse of mine (one of many hobby horses...you may have noticed that I have a few. ).

Now I am REALLY closing the laptop for the night.

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Phoenix_Rising
It will change but I fear I will end up homeless as I can't support myself anymore. Lost my pride,dignity,self respect and what I did have through making changes through believing in my stupid self through counseling and antidepressants. At the moment my SC thoughts to me are my reality.

[Sans911]

@Phoenix_Rising - goodnight sweet 🐢

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member
Hey Li1 I don't know you, I am interested in getting to know you, sincerely mean that.
I think you are such fun to play with, thanx for that.
I am here to be friends with you, I thought maybe you didn't like me?
I can get a bit negative like that with some people, sorry! 🙂
I have a Poetry Thread, you may like to visit there sometime? If you do, you may see some things I have written & get to know me better?
I am just a quiet stand back & wait until I feel safe, kinda female in the world.
I only talk a lot when nervous, excited, or trying to help someone.
I just watch, & take mental notes most times in the world while smiling. I am very much a thinker, & analytical until I know I am accepted, & feel safe.
I can many times feel out of place, & feel time to go to my wombat hole, yes its your expression & I'm just borrowing it for now, that's if its ok with you, plz?
I have to have fun, & giggle to renew my equilibrium.
That's how I survive, a home care Nurse who visited me to check on my Blood Pressure, years ago.
Told me that my wacky sense of humour is my, survival kit.
Can you & I have fun together here in Forum sometimes, if you like to?
Let me know, I would sincerely be honoured to have you as my friend.
Hope to hear from you when ever?
Love & Hugs
Your caring & loving Friend!
Bella XO 🙂