what a horrible day

[MDT]

can't take this anymore... i need help!

@outlander@Sans911@Former-Member@Shaz51@soul

idk who else to tag..

help me please 😞

[Shaz51]

what happened @MDT 

@Former-Member

[MDT]

@Shaz51

Had 3 hours of sleep then woke up at 5 45. Took a medication and went back to sleep. So no gym today.. i can never go when i feel tired or have little energy. 

I have my assessment centre next week for that graduate program. Bit nervous about it. But today i feel really bad so im not gonna think about next week today.

I always feel like i am getting nowhere in life. That i "should" be doing more. I feel guilty that i am at home today. 

I have about a month left in my degree. I think once i have done my last exam then i will put more effort into finding a job. Just as a 'thing to do' that soaks up the time. 

I keep remembering and thinking about what everyone else is doing. How they have bfs or gfs.. and im just on my own. 

Such a shitty feeling today. I cant do much because i am headachey and stressed out. 

I feel paralysed. I'm depressed and I'm upset with myself and the world.

I see no hope for me.. i really don't

[outlander]

@hamsolo02 i cant keep up with your threads! Sorry but it seems to be a new one everyday. I just reasponded to your other thread. Maybe tag a few members to there as theres heaps of followers there for you and they really do care about you as do i but im having trouble keeping up

[soul]

Just focus on today's battles @MDT. You are dreading your future and there is no way that you can tell what that is. Just get through today - one day at a time, just right here, right now.

Choose an attitude that moves you forward and not one that stagnates or impacts on you negatively. Think about how far you have come. That light at the end of the tunnel is so close you can almost touch it. After that - the world is your oyster.

Be kind to yourself. 

[outlander]

@MDT wrote:

not much @outlander

was going to go to the gym but decided against it as I have been feeling very light headed today.. and that's a surefire way to make myself worse.. i always get sick/headaches after the gym if i go and I'm not well rested before hand.

i'm on the verge of a panic attack...

tonight i have to go to get a suit for my assessment centre day next week so that's good for getting out of the house.. today i just haven't had the motivation and energy to go anywhere

played xbox for a bit but got worse at it lol as time went on so gave up on it..

played pc for a bit too but then got bored of it..

i feel really empty and also tired...

i'm so over all of this


@MDT

Im sorry your struggling with all this. I do hope it eases soon . @soul has touched on some good points here.
Im wondering if you can pick 3 things you have improved on this yr. Its hard to see in a dark hole but try and pick 3 things. They can be anything!

[Shaz51]

Hello @MDT 

Just focus on today's battles @Hamsolo01 

don`t be hard on yourself today my friend , having not enough sleep makes all the difference , be kind to yourself , it was good that you could sleep today

have you eaten today , had some water to drink

[MDT]

fair enough @outlander

i will leave it on here now

i dont seem to get as many people responding as i expect on my threads idk.. maybe people think I'm okay when I'm not..

i submitted a body pic to a fitness website too and they told me i looked okay but needed to do more weight training.. something i could've figured out myself though.. i don't really care for putting on weight yet.. at least not until i have other parts of my life figured out (namely what I am going to be doing next year) but then I will still keep going and trying to increase weights and such

today i played a bit of xbox but progressively got worse and also played pc

i have 0 motivation to look for odd jobs and work but i might try it now through the uni site

i also want to improve my social life because i feel like i am too dependent on pre-existiing friendships and they can go stale or overused too

i was going to go to a meetup last sunday but bailed last minute because i was too tired

I don't have much self respect left because i dont see why i should bother

i lose my appetite and can't eat much which means i don't have enough energy at the gym which means i can't put as much weight on...

i can't stand living life like this because I am only just surviving and not living..

part of me doesnt want to finish uni because its a reminder of how i might've wasted my time..

i can't handle this world anymore... i really can't..

just every day is the same..

[MDT]

@Shaz51yeh i had dinner just before but could not finish it all....

needed to make myself a drink too so i had a scotch and dry which was nice

[Shaz51]

I have about a month left in my degree, you can do it @MDT , we are with you all the way