when is it time for hospital

[eth]

Hi @outlander  how is today going so far?

[outlander]

Todays events

So ive done a lot with D today- ill put that bit on the horse thread..

so that took up until 1 oclock to do all of the stuff with D

so after that- I cleaned the house, did the washing and done shopping as well.

Ive been trying to work out the second offer from the mental health team. I received a letter today explaning the logistics. They give me 3 session to be assessed for a behavioural problem- personality disorder then after they have made an assessment then thats its otherwise they send me off to do group work – I dont really want that.
They during any of the sessions discuss hospitalisation nor do they discuss medications.
So if mums bf was to come to a session then the psychologist would be supporting him and not me because they dont agree with hospitalisation nor medications. Thats up to gp and psychiatrist to discuss. Ive had to make a phone call and try to get a female psychologist for these 'private' discussion/assessments. I still havent heard back from them and judging by the response I gto today when I asked to change they obviously dont get many of those requests. Im hopinh ill hear back from them tomorrow.

I was reading the letter today and my mother walked in from work and asked me what it was. I literally embarrassed myself and stumbled my words so much. I cant believe how nervous she makes me now. I can usually answer questions but now I either dont say anything at all or I stumble and stutter every words I say. I eventually got out that it was a letter from a psychologist that her bf was arguing with exlplainging what was going to happen. I mean how hard is that to get out but no it took me a long time to explan that and I still dont think she understood me properly.
She didnt act very happy about seeing this psychologist- I think they still think this is a load of bulldust.
No one else knows about the medications yet and im trying to hide them until wednesday after drs and then I can say I got them then.

Ive jumped ship again and im not at home tonight either

I am sooo tired!

@Former-Member@eth@Owlunar@Shaz51@Former-Member@CheerBear@Anony18

[eth]

Thinking of you @outlander.  Hope you are in a place where you can rest well.  Sorry to hear about today with your Mum.

[outlander]

i cant for the life of me stop shaking! @eth my whole body is shaking uncontrollably

[eth]

A hot shower or bath might help @outlander.  Do some slow deep breathing and see if that helps.  And get under a doona or blankets.  Nervous energy can do this to us.

[Owlunar]

Hi @outlander

I am glad you are away from home again - I know this is unsettling for you - but I think safer

Your mother has no rights in what you are doing etc - certainly not her boyfriend - they don't have to like it - it's up to you - and I saw something on TV today that showed three women living in a totally dysfunctional family - the mother and aunt fighting with each other and ear-bashing the young woman and I thought of you and how much energy that would need and how drained you must feel having all that happening

I hope to you get some sleep tonight - lots of hugs - 

Dec

[outlander]

Im under 2 warm blankets already @eth freezing but im sweating and shaking

@Owlunar it takes so much energy. Im tired and worn out. I know its safer not being at homr but it would be nice to have a stable home. Somewhere its safe and comfortable and somewhere i can speak and breathe but i cant do that anywhere.
I doubt ill get sleep something else has popper up and its really affecting me

[Owlunar]

That sounds a bit unsettling @outlander

I don't know what a popper-up is - but it seems disturbing

Everyone wants a quiet and stable home - I remember when I was far from settled - it is an uncomfortable state - not at all good - I remember when I had to spend a night in a shelter - not at all fun but it is an indicator to other people that you would rather be in some strange environment rather than at home

Perhaps you will have a restless night but at least  you are safe and I hope you have your medication

Dec

[outlander]

See tired @Owlunar
That was suppose to be popped up. So made an appearance. And its very unsettling. (Grief, sa memories and depression has engulfed me)
I cant atop shaking for goodness sake. Its making even my stomach muscles that tense its hurting
Im almost at a point of shelter i think. I dont want to be here or there or anywhere. I dont feel comfortable anywhere i go
Yeah i have my meds.

[Former-Member]

@outlander
i had to be out of home early because different reasons. it was messy, i had to go back and forth for a while but it was safer not being there. I couch surfed a bit. but i did a lot of house sitting as well. had a few adverts in local papers and would look after peoples houses/animals. occasionally got paid, but mostly it was just board and use the house as home while they were away. i got more 'business' after a while via word of mouth, lots of retirees homes mainly. not sure if something like this would give you a break from home and some independence. just a thought. been thinking of this for a while but anxious to say it to you.