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when is it time for hospital

Re: when is it time for hospital

just had to get the sisters to school @eth, you havent said to much at all.

your pretty much confirming my own thoughts but unable to clarify them myself.  just reading the rest now.. so give me a sec to just write a better response..

.

 

 

Re: when is it time for hospital

I know it's a lot to digest @outlander  Want you to know there are options in the real world for you, not just the wonderful support here.

Re: when is it time for hospital

i want to leave i really do, i know my mother is planning on moving out.. stil.... its taking forever. @eth

i was thinking about moving out but theres something i thnk will happen if i move out and eventually my mother moves out and pops left in his own house. he has a 3 bedroom house and has lived here for over 45 yrs, and since there is only him here, housing will move him out and tht i couldnt let happen. hes been here for way to long and this is where he and my nan spent most of their lives together. it would break his heart to leave here so im trying not to let that happen. i want out i really want it but i dont want that to happen to him. if i at least had a timeline for my mother getting out it would be helpful. even if i moved out for a year or kept getting away as much as possible for a year and then having that massive relief when they move out, but at this point i dont have a clue.

my pop and the work i do with/for my pop isnt my concern- it is- but not overly bad/takingup my whole life etc sort of thing. whats taking up my whole life is taking care of kids who arent even mine. i mean id get it if they were actaully mine but they arent.

and im well aware of how they feel about me. they hate me and use me jsut as much as my mother does but if i dont do the things they want then i feel like im not doing a good enough job. im already failing in life in every aspect i dont really want to make things worse.

 

and yes im 20- i never thought being 20 would turn out like this. i mean i know ive got to work, and i might still be living with mum and/or pop but the rest.....

 

i dont want to have to cancel everything over two weeks- if i do that then itll be cancelling 4 drs appointments, 2 psych appointments and a possible psychiartist appointment so 7 appointments. i always try to make appointments over 2 days so that it doesnt take up my whole week.

i was going to ask mum if she could take those 2 days her off days or at least request it, her boss seems to be pretty flexible. its so frustating becasue its not the kids fault but my god how many hours do i need to spend with them. im lucky to get an hour to myslef in a day and thats pretty much when i see D. and yet again today i wont have that much time. ill have to do her this morning then rush out to do the other horses and wait for the vet. so while im waiting i can do the pony- feed, water and clean out his paddock. and i can feed, water and clean up the sick horses paddock while im waiting  on the vet to come and see her and then i can do the other 2 horses out in the bigger paddock.

 

 

 

Re: when is it time for hospital

Well there goes my f**king plans! I now dont have a f**king car! This is not my week!!!!!!

Re: when is it time for hospital

Yes am on holidays now @outlander. In Seoul. Foreign place where people hardly speak English but it's enjoyable "getting lost". Having time to yourself to just venture on your own. Explore you know....I feel bad saying this giving what you going through. I really wish you could be here venturing out. It's really unfair what your mum is doing to you. What happen to your car?

Re: when is it time for hospital

Hi @outlander

 

Yes - you do need a time-line from your mother - but I can't see her giving you that

 

I have read some of your posts - about your middle-sister stuffing up your little sister's clothes etc - and that is just plain bitchy

 

Pick your favourite work - caring for your pop and your horses and whatever you get paid for - and skimp on the rest - I get it that the kids aren't your kids and what fun having them full time for school holidays (not)

 

Somewhere I read in one of your posts that your mother doesn't want to do anything when she gets home from work or weekends - and wants a holiday - I know you know she's using you - it's the bl^^dy pits really

 

Sending virtual hugs

 

Dec

Re: when is it time for hospital

That sounds really exciting @Anony18 i hope you enjoy yourself there.
My car radiator and water pump are both broken so now its not driveable until both of those are fixed. Its going to cost 200 to get it fixed 😕😕😕😕
I have applied for my loan i literally just paid off the last one by scrapeing together every cent i had to get this one paid off ao i hope it gets approved and soon cause i need my car. What a bloody bad time for it to break! Ive got my drs on wednesday and friday and my psychologist on thursday so im really needing my car. And i have the vets this arvo so im.hoping some is around to take me their or lend me their car for the hour.


@Owlunar yep my sister is a bi**h. Its all about her and if its not the whole world knows about it. And my mother is a friggin idiot. I want to get out of here.
Im not happy about having them for the 2 weeks ag the end of the year its going to be 6!!!!!

I need a break im already struggling as it is. What more can i do. Really what more do they want and they still dont know about my new medications either.

Re: when is it time for hospital

Oh hellsbells @outlander

 

Your mother can have a holiday from her kids but not you - I think I did read that

 

You have to do what you feel okay about but that is the time you YOU need off - after all - they are her bl^^dy kids - cripes

 

I know about middle-sis thinking it's all about her - my sis is the same and she's getting over the hill - past flexibility - what ever - but when we were kids I was saddled with her - no horse though - and I was always in the wrong - either I wasn't responsible in keeping her out of trouble or a bully because I stopped her - I understand you situation with them

 

Your mother really is a number - boy!!

 

Dec

Re: when is it time for hospital

Shes only like it with me at least @Owlunar she really encourages my younger sisters to have the normal life like going out with friends and staying over their houses. Shes still required to look after her horse and do homework and things but those to kids are the bright sparks in her life. Shes constantly saying those 2 and her bf are her faves and couldnt ask for any more. Not me. Im a trouble maker and a worthless one at that. A slave if you will. Doea everything with nothing in return.

As i sit here with D the only hour ill have to myself i think what have i done wrong and where have i gone wrong to be this much of a burden to everyone
A parhetic low life loser. Ive only got to add in the three things that i wouldnt do-casual aex alchohol drugs and smoking - and ill be my mothers worse nightmare. I think my body does enough damage on its own so im not adding them in. Shes driven me back to sh yet again as well.

Re: when is it time for hospital

Sorry I disappeared this morning @outlander.  My computer has been playing up today.  Sorry to hear about your car but glad to hear you have something to look forward to (even if the timing is indefinite) at home.  I would not be able to be that patient with that situation myself.

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