when is it time for hospital

[outlander]

At least its not genetics which is abit of relief to know and the stats are low that it will progress further. The other thing that bothers me having there is because it reminds me off my past and makes me feel sick. It feels like even though hes not there a part of him is. If that makes sense.

I asked if they can redo the smear in 6 months but they said no because if its still there then they have to refer me to a gynaecologist. And it can take a year to get rid of the virus. The thing thats bothering me is i know how this is transmitted and the abuse happened 4-5 yrs ago. Why is it only showing now or maybe it has been there for those years but this was my first smear so i dont know how long its been there. Ive still got another 5 months before i can get another test done.

Ive got it in a box in my mind but it doesnt take much to trigger it. I dont think itll stop until im cleared. They say im not fully cleared until the third test comes back clear. Im hoping it goes clear from here on in.

I know i need a bloody break. The inly break i get are hospital admissions but i dont want to rely on that to be able to breathe. I gotta figure out another way @Former-Member

[outlander]

Hopefully youll get to go there again @Owlunar it sounds like your really enjoying yourself which is great.

I dont really know how to get a life that i want. I dont really think about what i want and because ive been in my own bubble i havent really experienced the world through the eyes of others.

Yes i have a bunk bed. The top bunk and thats it. Remember i had all those dramas with my car. Im still having the same problem and its annoying the heck out of me because i can't hide anything. .

There will always be problems because i will never be good enough.im my fathers daughter and a mistake and thats a good enough reason

[Former-Member]

Hey @outlander...... I'm so totally out of the loop so I know this has been discussed but I can't remember what you said and I can't find the conversation.
But what were your thoughts about moving out of home? I know your sisters were a barrier, but you need to be well too.

[outlander]

thats ok @Former-Member ask away. this thread is alot longer than what i thought it was going to be tbh.

moving out of home is really complicated in more ways than one.

so ive got the kids as a repsonsibility as well as my pop but another major factor is when my mum, her bf and my sisters move into their own house and out of pops house, itll jsut be me and pop and there wont be any problems. but if i commit to another house by myself and mum moves out, pop will loose his house as its through housing commission and the house is too big for just one person and hes been here for 40 odd years.

i dont mind living here with pop but i want mum and everyone else to move out becaue i dont have privacy. my car isnt even private. people always go through my car as well so even something thats of personal use and i own and pay for msyelf gets my privacy invaded

[Former-Member]

I get the idea with a problem with privacy. I don't have a lot either.
Are they def moving out? When will it be?
That would be great if it was you and pop by the sounds of it.

[outlander]

they aremoving out but they are taking their friggin time. they have hardly looked at any houses on the market either.

they both friggin work and its frustrates the heck out of me becasue of it.

i was hoping that after 1 yr of beign here and me telling them its too squished that they would get the drift and friggin move out!

@Former-Member

[outlander]

am i boring guys?
or am i just bored with life?

i feel weird

[Former-Member]

Why does it frustrate you?
It would be so great if they moved out.
Fingers crossed it happens soon!

[outlander]

they both work and can afford a house together yet they cant even be bothered to look for a house @Former-Member thats why. they both get days off work and can go look at house yet they dont. they dont even look.

my mother complains how squishy it is and she gets crappy about it and not being able to do the house the way she wants to but wont look for a house.

it would help me if they actually started looking for a house, i know its hard to get one but without looking at all its not helping them.

i cant wait for the day they say weve got a house. those will be the best words i will ever hear!

[Former-Member]

You're ANYTHING but boring outlander - you have heaps of interests and you're an interesting person.
I've read that feeling bored is a symptom of some mental health conditions.
Is there anything I can do to help?
If you're feeling bored can I suggest you draw a Tasmanian tiger and post it on here.....? (I'm obsessed with tassie tigers)