when is it time for hospital

[outlander]

oh @Sans911 ive been trying to make a better life and i just cant 😞

i dont know what else im suppose to do. why cant i just come live with you. i wouldnt even have to ask, you would just know.

i dont know what my lie is worth anymore. nothing apparently. i have not much of a purpose except to be a slave. seems to suit me well, its all i deserve anyway.

i dont think its going to happen. the house sitting thing. i cant bring myself to ask or say anything for that matter. i jsut dont think its going to work. i still have to look after pop as well. and im already working long hours. i dont know how im suppose to fit in looking after her pets as well when with these extra four horses to look after its going to add another 2 hours to my day of work

i just might have to tell her that ill do the horses but i wont be able to do house sitting.

ive know about this since the morning and though i could jsut ask her without having panic attacks or the extra support from here but ive had 3 panic attacks today 😞

[outlander]

@Former-Member

i cant see this working. if i was to talk to mum shite would hit the fan and i think it would make it worse for me.

and then im sure mums bf would pipe up and i can already see the argument and whatll happen

ill cop the whole guilt thing- we have to work, we are going away on holiday and cant take any more time off work'

i wonder maybe if i made another attempt and they knew maybe they would listen to me and stop yelling at me everytime i try to anything nice

[CheerBear]

@outlander - panic really plays some games with my ability to communicate, think clearly, assess a situation etc. If you're panicking, it may be worth working to find some calm before making any decisions (like whether you can or can't house sit, have the conversation with your mum etc.). Thinking of you

[Sans911]

@outlander- can you write out a pros and cons of doing/not doing house sit. It sounds like extra work if you do the other, so is it worth it. And you the worst outcome from your mother; would it be worth trying to stay calm and have a conservation with no demands, just 'I've been asked to do this, what do you think? Can we work something out'?

[outlander]

i sent my friend a msg @Sans911 @CheerBear@Ant7@Former-Member@Shaz51 😞 😞

she knows my home situation so i told her that 'thank you for the offer but i dont think i can house sit. im worried about what what mums reaction is going to be and im worried about playing with fire at the moment since its so close to watching my sisters. i have to be stable for then but im still able to look after the 4 horses

[Former-Member]

I agree with @Sans911 @outlander!There is something wrong if you can't bring up the conversation but I think you know the way it's going to be without asking.It's just a bummer the timing.Its sad how you cannot have a casual conversation when you are a young adult.

[CheerBear]

Hope it helps to relieve some of the stress and anxiety now you've made a decision @outlander. It sounded like a good opportunity for a break but it also seems like it had some downsides too.

[Former-Member]

OK @outlander,yes I knew when you brought it up at the same time as your mum's holiday I feared it would be more trouble than it's worth.Dont worry, let's just hope your mother's boyfriend steps up and finds accommodation soon .

[Ant7]

@outlander I think you have made the best decision for you for right now. I know it was hard on you but I hope you feel some relief for you now ❤️💕