Hey @outlander - seems like the fog has cleared somewhat and I am happy for you that you are able to think a bit more clearly.
Your home situation sucks. Your family is not ideal - far from it. I know all about that and try as I might, my family weren't going to change. To stop it from getting to me, I had to change my way of thinking. Instead of lamenting that we weren't close, that they said and did hurtful things and they didn't have my back, I had to let go of that idea. When I did that, the things they did didn't bother me as much. They still affected me to a degree but I saw their actions being a reflection of their crappy character and nothing to do with my worth as a human being. Try it. It's not easy when you are a sensitive person but if you can adopt that viewpoint, it will certainly help.
I reckon you should book that little getaway as soon as possible. That way you will have something to look forward to and less likely to back out. Think about what you plan to do during that time. Take a book to read. Some good music. Maybe you will go for some nice walks. Treat yourself, you deserve it. Find something to be grateful for. Slow down and appreciate things you might normally take for granted or not even notice.
All the best for the coming week.
