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Well something bad happened last Tuesday night which resulted in me getting monitored in hospital. I feel guilty and sad but now just trying to recover and be kind to myself, even though its very hard. Just focusing on getting through each hour by hour. Having a bath with salts infused with lavender, euclyputus and chamomile is very calming.   I have a secret and I want to tell someone but don't know who to trust. The mental health nurse I saw yesterday made me promise not to do anything and to call someone if I think I will. Will try to keep that promise. I will try to be kind to myself.