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hi @MDT

im sorry your struggling so much. please know that we care for you here and want your best interests at heart. 

it seems you in the deep dark black hole at the moment and its hard to see any light at all. as Queenie has said, i hope that your in regaular contact with your mh team because it really sounds like you need it and you deserve that extra support too.  you do matter!

i feel the same way in regards to friends and also the SI. sometimes its better off but its not an option but then other days its like i jsut want to end it all but then the reasons im still here come back up and thats the impact itll have on others. i think once the pressure of uni are over itll become easier ebcause atm uni also takes up alot of your brian power, time and energy. im sure things will start to fall into place soon. 

the medications could be making you feel lethargic and also lack of appetite. i had that on one of my meds too but ti was also hard to tell if it was meds or the depression 'talking'