Am Not Coping

[Zoe7]

That is a lot of sleep for S2 @Faith-and-Hope I have been feeling a bit like that today but now can't seem to get to sleep so far this evening. I even took my usual nightly meds early and they have little effect thus far 

Sorry to hear DIL was unwell but glad you got to spend some time with S1 (and friends) 

I have some things I need to talk to my pdoc about tomorrow - it could be a tricky session!

[Faith-and-Hope]

Well, I’m going to be up for a while now ..... D3 has just had a baby dragon meltdown .... geez, they’re aggressive when they get going.

[Zoe7]

That is no good @Faith-and-Hope - hope she can settle quickly - that is the last thing you need tonight 

I am going to need to try to sleep again - need to be able to get some sleep before DBT and pdoc tomorrow. I don't like my chances however I need to try. Goodnight Hon - will catch up with you sometime tomorrow 

[Faith-and-Hope]

I am going to do some art research for a while and try to calm down again myself.  D3 is so fiercely trying to shake of the shackles that she is “throwing the baby out with the bath water”.  This will be a process .... but not tonight.  She has stormed off to her room, which means I can distract myself and find some peace on Couch Island.

Goodnight Hon ....

🦋💕😴

[Zoe7]

I hope D3 is in a better mood for you this morning @Faith-and-Hope I will need to get organised for DBT soon but wanted to check in with you first 

I hope your appointment goes ok today and you get everything done that you couldn't do yesterday 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Zoe7 ....

Will be thinking of you in your day too.

I am having to research some sort of respite day care for D2 so I don’t get caught at a point where I can’t attend classes because I have to have her with me.  Mr. opening new work in another state has raised that possibility as he will sometimes be away.

somethng will sort out, I’m sure.  Just have to keep asking around for now.

[Zoe7]

Is it a possibility that D2 could attend the occasional class with you if it came to that @Faith-and-Hope - I wish I was there and could help you out - I am sure Toby would love the cuddles from D2 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Would love that too @Zoe7 💕😊

[Zoe7]

I have finally gotten home and am exhausted - it has been a very long day!

@Faith-and-Hope @BlueBay @MDT @outlander @Snowie @Sans911 @Shaz51 and all who pass through...

DBT went okay today - I was able to talk again - not much but a little - it does get a little easier each time but I am still very guarded 

I spent the 2 hours in between DBT and my pdoc appointment trying to find a present for my Dad for his birthday - no luck so I will need to go out again tomorrow or Friday 

My pdoc appointment went quite well - we discussed a little what we had looked at in DBT and then we talked about a couple of things that have been weighing me down over the last week or so - it was very helpful to be able to get some of that out - again though, I did hold back the extent of some of my thoughts but she got the idea as much from what I was saying as from what I didn't say - she is quite perceptive! We talked very openly though about sadness and that being my primary emotion and what kind of narrative I tell myself when I am feeling like that - nothing I did not already know but the validation does help. I know you guys here all see when I am in that hopeless position and you all really help me to get through that - that is invaluable to me when I cannot do it all on my own - and I agreed with my pdoc that it is ok to feel like that at times and she is happy that I have the resources available to help me at those difficult times.

Despite it being a very long and draining day I am doing ok at the moment - I don't expect that to last all night once the adrenalin wears off but I will use my safety plan and the forum to get through.

[MDT]

hey @Zoe7 I'm rather exhausted atm so I won't say much. I will have a read of this a bit later and write a bit more meaningful content later 🙂