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24-04-2024 07:55 PM
24-04-2024 07:55 PM
Great, I just lost the message. It's probably easy to find .......
Yes @Doldip15 I completely agree with you. I have felt very misunderstood for much of my life.
These days less now iv decided to sew quilts. For many years my original family pressed and pressed me to draw art but they didn't know ME. When they asked ' how's my art,' I often felt like punching them.
I sound defensive don't I ?
But never looking at me. Today I just try and manage the day.
Typical I live in a beautiful area but I only like hanging out with my birds then NDIS swoops in and I go to excersises.
i really enjoy Hearing from you
Chow, until next time pp
24-04-2024 08:02 PM
24-04-2024 08:02 PM
My little Arlo, someone- my little dog I had when I first began Sane forums - passed away last year.
I'm not quite ready to get another dog but me birds keep me amused.
But honestly - you have a Dachshund ? Lucky you. I tend to lean on poodles or little white Maltese shitzus. I have a dream I'm going to India at the dog pound to rescue a dog for my next one.
24-04-2024 08:04 PM
24-04-2024 08:04 PM
@tyme Hello and thanks for reaching out! It’s been a lonely, lost time for me and I’ve been trying to stay busy but sometimes busy just emphasises failure!
Found my old gratitude diary when trying to eliminate old paperwork! Don’t know if anyone has tried keeping one of those! I refuse at present! But started each page of my old one with a meaningful quote that spoke to me and reading them today, I realise they still do!
like “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear” George Adair.
How true! It’s fear that paralyses! But how to overcome fear! That’s not so easy! Have I achieved it? Absolutely not!
Has anyone read any of the Furry Logic books?
One quote from Furry Logic
”Don’t be afraid
I’m right behind you,
Using you as a shield”
Kind of implies that I have to be the brave one and shield the one more afraid behind me! Kind of gives you an inner strength if you think you’re helping someone weaker than you!
But then another favourite quote from these books
“ Don’t rush me____
I’ll make the wrong decision when I’m good and ready”
now this is me! Procrastinate, waste time, look up details and get it wrong! So the fear stays!
I’m finding it hard to believe I haven’t made all mistakes! But then in same diary I find a thank you letter from a very old man I cared for once with a community service, thanking me for the dignity, respect and caring I gave him and the understanding, friendly relationship he felt he had with me in each occasion of my home visits! I got something right for someone! And he finishes with thank you from the “loners who live alone” and appreciate each and every visit! Was that me? Or me wearing the false smile pretending to be someone I wasn’t?
I’m hoping I haven’t lost the power to dream of something positive still to come!
I may have lost the verse I found but found this quote
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” So may we all dream on! It brings hope!
24-04-2024 08:14 PM
24-04-2024 08:14 PM
26-04-2024 09:54 PM
26-04-2024 09:54 PM
hi @tyme i was just in PARC and felt very not lonely - it was really wonderful
coming back is very triggering and i am not so safe here i feel lonely and got into a fight with a neighbour - i had to call triage and text my supports but its a rush here lots of stress
26-04-2024 09:59 PM
26-04-2024 09:59 PM
Coolie!!!!! @EternalFlower PARC was the BEST thing for me. I think I've mentioned before that over the years, I've had 5-6 admissions into PARCs, ranging from 2-6 weeks. The peer support there was invaluable. As you said, I also felt totally NOT LONELY!!! It reminded me what 'life' really was.
Yet part of the work in PARC is to help you stand on your own two feet too - outside these services.
I recognise the transition is challenging, but good on your for reaching out!
You're a winner 🙂
Thank you so much for the update.
26-04-2024 10:30 PM
26-04-2024 10:30 PM
hey @tyme parc is such a great model and the ppl who work in them seem to me to be quite special people - it takes a ceratin kind of openness to accept people where they're at -
i'm not feeling so awesome at the moment but i'm working - moving - through it -
things feel a little intense
i got home and its so so cold and heater broken and its hard
27-04-2024 05:41 AM
27-04-2024 05:41 AM
27-04-2024 07:29 AM
27-04-2024 07:29 AM
Well I enjoy your photos and links so much all, that I wasted the better part of a morning limping around small back yard trying to take photo of my dog, Otto, being his usual attention seeking self! And all I got was”This image is too large….blah” no matter how small I made it! Same with saved images! Don’t know how you do it???
started Art class and I’ll love it! I may not be good but I’ll have fun!
cheers
27-04-2024 08:10 AM
27-04-2024 08:10 AM
Hello @EternalFlower
It is sad when old friends no longer want to communicate or actually break contact with you! You push me down the memory path of those I’ve tried to stay in touch with after moving towns, jobs, marriage breakup and even moving country for some! It’s hard work! And when you find your letters not returned, or your phone calls, emails etc, unanswered, after a while you just stop trying!
recently reconnect with a friend from school long ago with whom I maintained a friendship through both our first failed marriages but lost contact well into her second marriage when she moved to Sydney out of personal reach kind of, and I was struggling still as a sole parent of 4 trying to work - at times 4 casual jobs! We lived in a beach side town! My kids practically lived at the beach, especially my son, swimming, surfing, fishing, swinging on ropes, hiking through the bush, but attacking the hell out of his sisters if he was at home! Had all sorts of strategies to keep the violence to a minimum if I was at work and they were home together! As an adult? You wouldn’t know this man ever set fire to the bush, emptied peoples bins for fun, attacked his sisters with cricket bats and knives, put holes in the walls! Oh no! He’s won an award for managing difficult government public office. Manages the most abusive people himself and not with abuse- with tolerance and understanding. There’s not a rule he’ll break or a shortcut he’ll take! He frowns on nieces and nephews doing what he did! His own children supervised since early childhood to a rigid degree! Life is interesting and how things change!
I’ll try taking a lesson in YouTube re making photos small enough- just a sudden thought! Not relevant here but back to friends!
managing my kids made it very hard to stay in touch with anyone except very good friends who came to the beach too to share BBQ lunch or tea and let kids run and play! A social worker said to me back then- “ Get your kids outside in public having fun! You don’t harm your children in public” she was right! An hour at the beach in the morning on non school days, again in the afternoon followed by BBQ dinner in the park and home to bed, kept them busy but first you had to find the son often who already escaped to the lake! It was an interesting life I guess but lonely as an adult because being busy doesn’t compensate in any way for relationship, companionship and intimacy!
I hope some new friends arrive in your life but even these are not something you can advertise for or seek out on social media with success hey? They arrive in your life unexpectedly and rarely! So good luck and I’m glad you have friends on the forums to talk to! Wish warm hugs to you!
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