The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

[Teej]

I’m on survival mode @Sans911. Not quite sure what to do with myself just now. :face_with_rolling_eyes:

[Sans911]

Oh @Teej

Can I help in any way? Do you want to talk about anything?

[Teej]

I’ve just read up a little and it seems like today has been ok for you @Sans911. I don’t want to change that for you. It’s so good that you’ve been able to relax. 💜🤗

[Sans911]

Days like today @Teej

scare me. Because when days start going ok in the last few years there's always a something that's ready around the corner to trip me up, and I slip back again.

And my suicidal thoughts still whisper in my ear that I just need to give up while I can.

[Teej]

I totally get that @Sans911. I get scared when I’m going ok too. It means a bigger crash is coming or I’ll be impulsive and hurt someone or something. 

edited. I just realised I don’t want to influence anyone who might be reading this. I wish I could secretly know though :face_with_rolling_eyes:. 

[Sans911]

I'm glad you understand @Teej

As to your question. I used to about a year ago, but not anymore.

What you did the other night I used to very regularly. Then it didn't work so well after a while.

I don't why recently I want to be self destructive in other ways. I've felt like this before.

I've not told anyone but you this @Teej

but I feel you understand these behaviours.

[Sans911]

Oh, I hope you haven't objected to my post @Teej.

I've remove it you want me to

[Teej]

There is lots in my head. I’d love to talk about it with you @Sans911 but I’m scared of the impact it may have on you or others. I had a plan to end it this weekend but I got some support for it today when it was becoming too real. Im ok. Just trying to find ways to not self medicate just now. Im holding on to hope that tomorrow can be a better day. Telling you is another person for me to be accountable to. Poor @Faith-and-Hope usually ends up being the person who I turn to for that accountability. Me thinks she has iPad face. 

I hope this is ok to tell you. 

[Teej]

No I don’t object at all @Sans911  I just don’t want anyone to copy this stuff. It’s messy and dangerous as you know. 

What made you stop? 

[Teej]

I totally understand all the self destructive behaviours of all kinds @Sans911. I feel honoured that you can share it with me. I think that’s one of the reasons I sought the connection with you because I could see you experience similar behaviours as me. I have often felt so alone with it.