@CheerBearYou seem like such a caring person. I do want to reply, just sometimes the energy is just not there.
It is really tough and there are a lot of barriers. It seems like I still have no control over my own health and it all goes to someone else - who doesn't know the best for me or just shoves me away and that isn't right you know.
I suppose so. I do recognise that hospital is an option, but whether or not I want to access that option is a whole other train of thought.. Leaving the permanent option much more applicable.
Definitely. I struggled for years just to get the support I once had - and it only lasted for less than a year... and then suddenly vanished. No explanation. They took away my medications along with it so it really messed me up.
I am so sorry you had to go through that
😞 Hospital never is the option that you just want to go to. My family is very very very unsupportive, aggresive and in denial about my whole health - so they react in bad ways even when I have been forced to go to hospital in the past... and that makes me resistant because I hate the tension. I am very glad that you accepted the admission and that it became somewhat helpful for you. I hope that, that experience has now given you more hope if (and hopefully there won't be an if) you do end up in that same frame of mind and situation again. I am so glad to hear how things have changed and it has given you a new perspective. I only wish you the best.
A lot of people do say that I seem to have a lot of knowledge and understanding of what I am going through and I am very aware of my thoughts and feelings.. But I am afraid that isn't the case.. I don't understand anything - and I always talk as though I have understanding but I suppose I do that as a mask because in reality I am extremely fragile and afraid. Yeah.. I don't understand myself at all.
Thank you so very much CheerBear and thankyou for having this conversation with me. Means more than you know x
