-Enigma-

[Adge]

Yes those Cross-Stitch works are fabulous @Former-Member I'm glad you find that relaxing, with a sense of achievement too (I'm sure). I understand why you would want to frame them, so would I.

Yes, one can never have too many friends - I've never had more than a few at a time.

Some turned around & stabbed me in the back (so to speak), after I had donated much time & energy to helping them out (when they were in need).

I was not ever really appreciated (I discovered), even after 10 years  - still, that was only 2 or 3 people who did that (but they were the longest contacts).

I would probably be considered too boring too Enigma - & yes I'm very introverted (always have been). I can be social, but it comes at a high price (energy-wise). I need lots of personal space, to recover.

It does seem so much harder to connect with people these days - despite my much greater social skills, & all the wacky-do technology (which seems to make it more complicated, rather than easier).

Adge

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Adge

A few friends are all we need - and genuine ones are hard to find. You are doing well with that. 

Healthy acquaintances are fun - and can be good value while it lasts, but they won't be there in the rough times. Only the former. But they do ease the loneliness - group gatherings are good value that way just for casual chatter and some laughs. I enjoy that. Deeper connections take time and nurturing - with a building of trust with each other I have experienced.

There will always be those who use people and take advantage of their good nature. The latter makes my blood boil. In real life I am good at discerning them and keep them at arms length. Sorry you were treated that way - you deserve better. I can never understand others who rip off those who try and help them. They have lost much as these people are gold. Their loss @Adge

Having said that, there are many people out there who genuinely want good company and to just share their life with someone, or make real friends. It's discerning the real from the fake. A real friend in trouble won't likely ask for money and will give more rather than just take and see their needs only - those who do ask for money, well it's okay to say no. And if they don't stick around then we know they were not genuine and it's a good thing they are out of our lives.

My daughter has been used and drained for every cent she has so many times. I try and warn her but she won't listen. Me, I am more stubborn. Some have gone after my money, they don't get past go. 

I am sure you will come across nice people - they are usually more meek and respectful I find. It will happen in time - don't let the users waste your time and take you away from them. 

I understand what you mean about needing soace space to restore energy - I am exactly the same. We are true introverts but very loyal with the right people. Let us know how it goes. Sounds like the experience has increased your confidence - a good thing x 😊

[Adge]

Hi @Former-Member

My neighbour spontaneously brought me a bowl of potato & leek soup (just now), that she made herself.

Nice, how kind & thoughtful. Yummy too...

To think that we made friends over our fallen dividing fence.

Yes, I think I'm gaining a bit more social confidence with (through) the online dating - it's a good social outlet, with the chance of making new friends (always a good thing).

Adge

[Former-Member]

Wow, what a good neighbour you have there @Adge. What a lovely thing to do - she sounds like a treasure. Quite symbolic the fallen fence - brought done the divide between neighbours.

I use to have good neighbours like that when I lived on a farm in the country. If either myself or husband were sick - they would bring over food or dinner and chop us a trailer load of firewood (it use to get to -10 degrees there, not to mention the chill factor on top). It's a lovely feeling to have people around like that. Gold.

Its a great social outlet the dating - keep me updated, it's really interesting and I am happy for you 😊

[Adge]

Hi @Former-Member I have a Date for Sunday (the day after tomorrow), just arranged this afternoon.

Wish me luck...

Adge

[Former-Member]

Woo hoo @Adge - I have everything crossed for you!! How exciting my friend - I will be hanging out for the updates after Sunday. Wishing you a positive experience 😀

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[Adge]

Thanks @Former-Member I really appreciate your support (or thoughts).

It always helps.

Maybe I'm gaining a bit more confidence with this dating thing - meeting women who I haven't met before.

Adge

[Former-Member]

It really is a positive step @Adge - even if it doesn't work out it's good life experience that is confidence building. Nothing ventured nothing gained I say. Go for it and have a great time!

[Adge]

Hi @Former-Member I hope you are well, & got some rest over the weekend.

I couldn't sleep on Friday night, so was an utter mess (zombie) yesterday, & still not good today.

Pros & Cons, Re: Date today -

She had to bring her 2 twin 6 year old girls with her (no Babysitter).

So that made for a rather fun & interesting time. They mucked around all over the table, & kept on putting table decorations in my hair (on my head).

It was difficult to have a conversation, or to maintain eye contact - with that going on around me (the entire time). I rather enjoyed it, I really like children & their spontaneity.

On the con side - she walked away & left me to pay for everything, without ever having asked (or discussed it). Not okay, I've only had that happen a few times in the past.

My friend warned me (prior) that my Date seemed like the sort of person who would stand me up, or expect me to pay for everything.

It seems that my friend is a very good judge of character - she was right.

However, the prior warning didn't help me with a response - when left in the lurch like that, it's hard to know what to do.

So I just paid, despite knowing that she most likely won't want to meet again.

Just as a note - I've already paid money each time to contact anyone on the dating site. They rarely offer to pay for the contact. It costs one contact stamp for each contact.

Adge

[Former-Member]

Hi @Adge - you do sound like a really nice guy - not many would of appreciated a date bringing their children the first time. Glad you had a fun time with them.

Your friends intuition sounds sharp. If it were me I would make it clear up front before the date or meeting that the dinner would be paying Dutch (each their own share). I do think it was a bit rude and lack of character for her to expect you to pay for all three of them without offering to contribute a cent. Your a good bloke and deserve the same @Adge.

Have you seen Bellas thread on dating with MI? They may be more up with things than I am and can give you better feedback. My weekend was rough - I am going through it with my daughter again and I told her she was on her own this time. She takes advantage of my good nature and I won't tolerate anymore - even if it means losing her. I want her to be happy and safe - but I won't let anyone use me, as she does. She will have to learn the hard way and I have to be strong.