Hello @Adge@Maggie@Former-Member@Former-Member@NikNik@oceangirl@Zoe7
@faithandhopeand all the wonderful people who have been so supportive. I hope your day was a good one.
I did go to my volunteer work and it was very helpful and I enjoyed it. Being around the best co-workers and connecting with everyone who came in to shop and seek assistance. We were so busy. I did meet some people who came in crying - they were having such a struggle. It's hard to watch but a good feeling to know that we made some difference in their lives. I feel their pain and easing it means everything to me. It is what I want to do for the rest of my life.
But I had a terrible struggle physically. My manager noticed and is worried about me so I won't be going back until next week. I will see my doctor in the next couple of days - it's possible that my fall on the weekend was due to a mild stroke. I have had trouble with my vision and dizziness. Strangely I am not worried. Physically it will work out. It's the grief that frightens me.
My daughter is in a really bad way and although I help others outside the home I feel helpless when it comes to my daughter. The difference being that those I assist outside the home want help and seek it, but my daughter doesn't seem to want to do what she must to help herself. And I can't get through. She is acting very strange and physically I just don't feel that I can cope with the situation. Not good, so I am living moment to moment presently. It's like living on a tightrope trying to stay balanced, trying not to fall. It's just a nightmare that I can't wake up from. A cloud always hanging over my head whilst doing my best to make a life for myself. As does most on here whom suffer mental anguish. The odds are so against me but I don't want to give up. I want my life to mean more than depression and trauma.
Thank you all for making that feel possible as without your kindness and support aimed my way it may not be. I hope I can also give something back to you all in your greatest time of need. I mean that sincerely.
So I am still suffering greatly but feel more uplifted in spirit. The worst thing for me is lying in bed.
@Adge - I am thinking of you too and please feel free to post and talk here anytime you need to. I am here for you too.
@Maggie - what a beautiful and special person you are, you soothe me and give me such strength
@Former-Member - you suffer like I do and I always feel better after reading your genuine, heartfelt posts. It's me who thanks you.
@Former-Member - I feel you understand me so well and the struggle with grief and hardship. I feel so comfortable talking to you and always feel uplifted by you
@Zoe7 - you are much stronger and wiser than you think. You have saved me also when I have been in a very dark place. You are a gift to the world but can't see it.
@Faith-and-Hope - you are amazing and your spirit, kindness and strength inspires me
@NikNik and Sane moderators - your intervention this last week came at a time when I really needed it. Your work is so valued by me. Thank you
@oceangirl - you are the most beautiful person - your friendship means the world to me
Too many more to mention as my strength wanes. I will really need you all over the next few weeks as anything could happen with my daughter. Sending warm hugs xxxx
but wanted to let you know I hear you and I am with you...