Over The Edge

[oceangirl]

@Former-Member 

I hear you, my lovely friend and your friendship means the world to me too

Have been thinking of you today. Am glad the volunteer work lifted your spirits. Am paraying for your beautiful daughter and that she finds her way back home.

I had training today for the Commonwealth games and took trouble to the vet. I also went to the chemist and went grocery shopping for my parents for when they stay at my place.

Tomorrow I am at the hospital having testing and having dinner with my parents tomorrow nite. I also have to finish packing tomorrow and tidying up here a bit more. On Friday I am leaving for Honolulu via Sydney.

I got trouble a new bed yesterday and she loves it, and it makes me happy to see her happy.

I am worried about you though re mini stroke and make sure you get that investigated- mri scan, blood test, spec brain scan and carotid ultrasound, I am not sure if they do other tests, and ask about medication to reduce the risk of having stroke/heart attack atc.

I think some time off from volunteer work will be good for you to relax and seek medical assistance. I am not sure if I will get a change to get online tomorrow but I will be online in Hawaii. You are amazing and beautiful person. I am always here for you my friend- stay in touch. With love OG........

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜💕 @Former-Member ......

[Former-Member]

Hello @Former-Member

I do hope that you will heed the warning signs from your body.

grief, fear, worry, anxiety, depression all have a major toll on our bodies.

when the grief is about one of our children it is tenfold, indescribable.

I feel for you, the helplessness,the out of reach, beyond our control, inexplicable horror of not being able to make it better.

my son is now unrecognisable almost with his requests. He is begging me to get him out of this country where he fears for his life. How can I respond, help with results, read the pleas for help and just say to myself it is an illness! Does that bring any relief? No!!

inthe nights the messages are flowing through whilst I attempt to sleep. Sleep what is that?

Try to remember you in all of the mess. Xx

[Maggie]

@Former-Member Thank you so very much for your kind thoughtful words to me, they do mean so much. You have taken time to appreciate and help others in the middle of your own darkness. You are a special person, sometimes you need to believe what others see rather than what you might not see yourself. You are doing well. Take care today, warm thoughts coming your way.

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Maggie@oceangirl@Zoe7@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope

Today has been a particularly hard one. I woke up in the middle of the night in agonising pain in my breast, rib, shoulder area due to the injury caused by my fall. I think I made it worse going to my volunteer work yesterday. 

So I have been laid up in bed all day with pain killers unable to do anything. I am feeling so depressed as a result. My husband has been looking after me but the strain is effecting him, making me feel worse. And my daughter comes home soon and I never know in what state. I am feeling vulnerable and not safe.

[Former-Member]

Hello @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope

I do know what it is like to fall further into depression and the world seems relentless in piling more pain.

when I am in deep depression with the nothingness, sometimes I am unable to move my lips to speak.

I find not trying to relate verbally less of a burden.

If you are needing sleep try to get some for a time limit. Perhaps an hour maximum depending on how much sleep you are getting in a 24hour period. Set an alarm to wake you up. Then make an effort to get out of bed slowly. You might feel lightheaded. Try to only focus on your movement. Keep your fluid intake up and have a drink of water. I don't remember things so keep a note of time and how much. Also if you are taking any medication at all keep record of how much and times taken.

your husband is affected also of course. Just give him a hug tell him that you love him and are working at looking after your health. You need him to look after him whilst you get through this.

keep your focus on you only at this time. You have no control over anyone else.

have you a gp appointment for thorough checkup?

have you appointment with psychiatrist or psychologist or referral? Important re medication and monitoring as well as talking about everything with impartial specialist.

I think that I have fatigue again as have not had proper sleep in 7 weeks. Takes a long time to catch up.I am just trying to get through next 9days then hopefully sleep will be kinder. I have been having random chest pains also. Think they are anxiety. Will deal with when arrive home.

Take care my friend as mothers we can only do some homework.our children are now adults and have to take some responsibility with their care as hard as that is for us to come to terms with. We Canberra of no help to them if we are very unwell or no around.

xxxxxxxxx

[Former-Member]

Just read sounds nonsensical in parts.

dratted auto spelling 

dont have energy to amend

ipad about to die

justgot back from other relative for 3days and realised have left international adapter there so might not be back on here until after weekend. See cousin then for family gathering.

[NikNik]

Hi @Former-Member

That's what people who care about us do. He may be tired, but he sounds like a very caring husband who is more than willing and wants to help. Don't be too tough on yourself for that.
I hope you're getting some rest tonight. If things continue to escalate, particularly if you're not safe and can't talk to your husband, please contact:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Beyondblue: 1300 22 4636 or web chat

If in immediate danger: 000

Take care - I hope you heal quickly,

Nik

[Maggie]

@Former-Member Sending warm wishes

[Former-Member]

Hello @Former-Member

am hoping that you are finding some calm no matter how briefly in the midst of all of this.

one of my cousin's daughters is struggling managing her 5month old son. She is a perfectionist.

I silently think to myself if you only knew to treasure every single moment of his wellness. At the same time I had post natal depression so did it all start with me???

a ridiculous question one that I actually used to ponder over when he was younger.

did you ever think like that?