I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[outlander]

its not fair @CheerBear 😞  i dont even know what else to say. i think this emoji covers it 

[greenpea]

@outlander that is all so much to digest ... not just the weight gain but the pre diabetes and the pelvic examination (that would be the worst for me) then fertility. You have been through the wars outlander. You also haven't mentioned your chronic insomnia which would cripple me and send me straight into hospital ... we are with you outlander. It is great that you can talk about it so freely with us and not keep it all bottled up inside which would be horrible. Love you girl xxx

[CheerBear]

Nope, not fair at all @outlander

[outlander]

@greenpeashe knows already about the chronic insomnia. ive tried so many different meds and they dont work. the only thing that occassionally works is a sleep regime which i try to stick to but its hard to stick to when your feeling so anxious so im hoping with these new tablets for anxiety itll help with sleep too. and PCOS in the mix there as well. 

i think im falling apart from the inside including my brain @CheerBear it honestly doesnt surprise me what comes up wrong with me now. i dont think theres been a part of me that hasnt been affected yet. 

with diabetes, heart issues run on my fathers side so i have to watch that the more weight the more chance of heart issues. 

to much to much to much. i need to go offline for a while

[Shaz51]

I have pre-diabetes too because of my kidney diaease @outlander,sending you tender hgs my friend

[outlander]

thanks @Shaz51 hugs to you too

[Sans911]

@outlander shite lil Sis, that was a lot for just one bloody day wasn't it? Don't try to take it all in at once. Just sit back and it'll absorb itself into your pysche in time. And I'm glad you have some answers, even though it means a lifetime of ALWAYS monitoring your health. PCOS involves lots of fluctuations in hormonal levels, which can mess with the pancreas & insulin. So a lot of the stuff you are dealing, including the high levels of anxiety (which produces lots and lots of cortisol; another hormone) are kind of inter-related. So you can't change your crappy environment, but you CAN manage anxiety with meds and coping strategies. So what I'm saying (which today is feeling like I'm climbing Everest cause my words aren't flowing) is that you have some answers to your issues, you have some solutions,and now it's a matter of balance. Yeah right, easy peasy isn't it? I know it's not that simple or easy, and I understand you probably feel like you've been hit by a bullet train at full speed, but you are a smart girl that doesn't sit back and let stuff go. You're onto it, you're making the right steps to make things better all the time. So I'm having faith that maybe there will only be 4kittlets instead of 12, and that you're going to have a good life eventually whatever comes your way. Hugs lil Sis. Lots of them. 💜💛💖❤️💙💚

[outlander]

you swore! @Sans911 you never do that. if thats anything i got out of that lol. 

no seriously its alot to take in. she did try to explain all of that with the insulin but it really wasnt sinking in what ive written is what ive understood in simple terms. 

it hasnt really sunk it yet. it probably will either tonight or tomorrow. atm its jsut flowing, i feel like shite but it hasnt hit yet.  itll get me at my weakest point. sleep. 

and apparently i was having 14 not 12 according to @Former-Member but im not getting excited now. i doubt ill have 1 and thats if im lucky. not really focussing on kids though. i need to get the rest of the stuff sorted first. 

hugs to you sis, lots of them. you can come chill here with me for a while if you want or on your thread

[Former-Member]

@outlander

[Former-Member]

@outlander!💞