I'm in a nest

[Former-Member]

I'm so glad it's helped @mudsum. I remember the first time I read some stories and saw that respect and care for each other and it felt a bit like home for the first time. 💜🤗

[mudsum]

as for the drawing sorry that its a sore point but glad to be here.

would it be ok if i use your idea of the nest?
do you actually have a physical nest?

[Former-Member]

I find it so confronting to go back to old posts @CheerBear. I could only read a couple and that's on your thread. I find I get smacked down by shame fairly heavily. However I'm so glad it helped you a bit and you saw the positives.

You'll make an awesome social worker sooner than you know. Time seems to fleet by at the moment. I'm hoping to keep drawing from your positivity to return to study in July but we'll see how I go. I've managed not to be in crisis days for 4 days for the first time in at least 6 months so I guess there's hope. Keep being you because it's helping me to be me too. 💜🤗💐

PS @mudsum, @CheerBear I've edited this post as it felt like a huge overshare and in the end I didn't feel comfortable with it here. I hope you don't mind. 

[mudsum]

wow thats huge @Former-Member !!!!! well done party wtih chocolate cake right now.
sounds like your putting lots of good practice in to staying safe

love love love it

[Former-Member]

Thanks @mudsum. Thinking maybe a hot chocolate. 😊 

[CheerBear]

@mudsum - no worries about the drawing comment - just wanted to explain rather than leave you think I might be ignoring you. I have to be a little careful about how much I talk about certain things (like real nests) but the very short answer is yes. Of course you can use the idea too 😊. I'd love to know what you create and come up with if you can and want to share.

@Former-Member - I'm so so happy for you that your last four days have been better! It's so good to not just hear that things can change but to feel it and experience it too. I will very much look forward to hearing about your return to study, but in the meantime i will sit here and celebrate that it's even a consideration for you right now! That in itself is a huge achievement 😃 Thank you for your kind words always Teej 😙. They have definitely had such a positive impact on me in lots of ways.

It's funny you mention the feeling of shame looking back on old posts (funny is so the wrong word here!). I remember reading a message from you that felt so reassuring after I had (what I probably called) a meltdown or flip out here. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, but I do know your words stuck because I thought of them as I felt pangs of 'yikes' reading some of my posts. Rather than completely freak out and run away hiding from here for a while (like I probably would have done before), I tried to remember that it's actually ok because that's just what happened at the time. While your own self talk is maybe not so helpful for you when you're facing your old posts, your talk to me helped me when I faced mine. This reminds me of that whole 'speak to yourself the way you'd speak to a friend' thing I'm sure so many of us struggle with here!

Late night for me again but got the forum feels tonight which is nice!

Hope all nesters sleep well tonight 😴😊

[CheerBear]

Ps @Former-Member - edit away. But also totally share away if/when you're comfortable too. No judgment here 🙂

[Former-Member]

@CheerBear I'm trying to find the place to be me here again. I have had lots of times on the forum being in full crisis and posting inappropriately and having arms and legs flailing everywhere in a screaming messy heap. It's mostly those posts I struggle with. They are slowly being buried now but I still often cringe at things I write because I'm such an emotional writer too, there's usually not much planning it just comes straight from the heart to fingers without too much thought. I fall in a huge mess and high distress quite easily often over seemingly small things. I know this is a learning curve but it's sometimes also a record I'd rather not have. Maybe one day I'll be able to look back and say 'I remember when.....' 

I hope you sleep well and have a good night. 

[CheerBear]

I can imagine that would be hard to think about @Former-Member. I suppose I only know the Teej I've met in the last few months.

I remember when you sat with me the day triage was called and I totally flipped out and flailed about, but you were still there the next day and the next. I remember that night when you allowed me to be vulnerable and tell something really hard to. I remember finding the daily goals thread that you created, that felt so good to read through and I often enjoy looking over. I remember what it felt like when you noticed I'd been triggered and then enormously run over by a bus on a really hard thread. And I remember the laughs I have had with you during times when it felt like I was going to drown in sadness.

I hope you're able to remember as much of the great as the not-so-great, and that one day the not-so-great doesn't feel as tough. And I hope you are able to be as you as you are here again soon.

Goodnight 🙂

[Former-Member]

Thanks @CheerBear 💜🤗💐