The waves of nausea constantly hit me and leave me wondering if maybe this time I’ll actually end up being sick. How can I eat when this is how I always feel. My heart flutters, I feel the pounding beats, is this it, will it just stop? The sadness and depression roll around, there just a regular constant companion that I can’t seem to evict. Tiredness is a norm, I struggle to get up but I must, I must move my body, I must push myself beyond exhaustion. SH and SI are a permanent fixture, but don’t be fooled by their consistent presence, they are equally dark, scary and alluring as they were the last attempt. My lack of ability to maintain self control and stop the urges makes every day a living hell I no longer wanna participate in.
