-Enigma-

[Former-Member]

Thank you for the reassurance @Appleblossom - I really did need to express my pain.

I have called her out on her using us and that is wrong of her in the past. And she did listen that time and improved. She made real progress. That is probably why this hit me so hard. I think this fellow she is with has a lot to do,with her present decline and the debt she is in.

It is possible to give up substance abuse I agree - When very young I had a real,problem with alcohol. My daughter is in severe denial - she won't admit she has a problem. We find out through others - or we can see through her personality changes. Her partner is on ice - this really concerns me. Something she said she would never do - but I am wondering now.....That makes it dangerous for us. I can't believe after her improvements and the way we have stood by her that she is doing this again.........It hurts. But I worry for her more - and I can't live with her anymore. My health will deteriorate if I do. 

Thank you for being such a good friend xxxx. There are some very special people here @outlander@Appleblossom@Former-Member@ xxxxxx

[Former-Member]

If your daughter is on meds @Former-Member

Do you think she might have stopped taking them?

Whats for dinner tonight?

🌷🌸🌺🌼🌻

[Appleblossom]

It seems we all feel the same way about you moving. @Former-Member

I hope dinner helps you collect yourself.  Maybe give her 48 hours to make her decisions. Put calls in for accomodation. When you know what you are going to do.  Be calm and clear and definite.  Only enable actions that are towards her responsible independence.

[Former-Member]

She was just prescribed some med the other day by our GP @Former-Member. She starts and stops med. These ones he prescribed her she starts on tomorrow - she has been on them before and they help. They are not anti-depressants, she can't seem to take them - they are typically ones they prescribe for bi-polar 1. Hopefully that should calm her.

I am going to cook chicken snitzchel, mash potato and vege. Am a bit late tonight as this upset put me off course a bit. Thanks for ding there. Will pop on again this evening. Feel so grateful for the support xx

[outlander]

[Former-Member]

Spot on @outlander - she has expressed fear of abandonment. She can't be alone. The part I don't understand is that she goes for men who are dangerous and likely to hurt and abandon her.  DBT was suggested to her but she never saw it through. She won't do any type of counselling - and she really needs to. I only said this to her the other day.

I will go and cook and make a cup of tea, this has blown me away. Did not expect it at all. Thanks for being there. Will pop on again later xx

[outlander]

@Former-Member the abondonment part is tricky. I shut  down alot now and dont let  anyone in but like your daughter  iseem to attract  the toxic people. Im.not sure why though i had explored my reasons but i dont think they would match hers as 2 very different upbringings. Happy to share if itll help though. 

Its hard to help someone who doesnt want to help themselves esp if they have all the options there. Your doing thr best you can though. Shes an adult  and unfortunately  the balls all in her court. 

[Former-Member]

Yes, it wouldn't be fair if we had to sell. There has to be another way - I hope. She would ruin it for us if she moves with us too - what a dilemma. So true @Appleblossom, I can't enable her - that's what people are advising not to do as it does just make her more irresponsible. I haeput my foot done in the past. She doescome back at the heartstrings psychologically saying, no good mother would make her daughter homeless. She puts the blame on me.........I will go and clear my thoughts and pop on later. Thank you for your support. I think I would be a mess now if not for you wonderful people. I really needed to get it out 

[Former-Member]

Yes, go and get dinner and a cuppa @Former-Member  Sounds yum!

Oh I hope the new meds help her. 

I can’t take anti depressants either. 

I saw the lovely photos you put up. Definitely no to selling. 

Somehow everything will work out. 

Just get through tonight. 💪💜

[Former-Member]

Does your daughter know how much her behaviour hurts you? @Former-Member