**Trigger warning** Stuck in world of sadness and Suicidal Ideation

[Former-Member]

Content/trigger warning

@Sans911💓

[outlander]

@Sans911 🌸🌸👭👭

[Former-Member]

@Sans911good night hun, hope you get some sleep tonight 

[Sahara]

@Former-Member,

that sounds terrible... I'm glad you are out of there now. I was similar to you- I had anxiety for quite a long time before I knew what it was. I had physical symptoms too.... it's really amazing that you can be so anxious and not know it!

I never really fitted in with my work-mates, either. I think it was mainly because I wasn't really interested in my job, even though I became good at it. 

I hope you have a better day today. 

[outlander]

Morning sis @Sans911 ❤❤

[Former-Member]

I wish I was stronger @Sahara,I basically let my life go,had a tiredness for months especially after severe insomnia at the time.All aspects of life got me down.In reflection,I didn't look after myself,my mother was draining like now,I never took a day off work which I should had etc.I failed @Sahara,at the end they won,I ruined my life and paid a huge price.

[Former-Member]

@Sans911morning my beautiful friend. I hope you got some sleep or at least some rest last night. You were in my thoughts as always. 

[outlander]

@Sans911

[outlander]

@Sans911@Former-Member@Former-Member

[Sahara]

How are you today @Sans911?

@Former-Member, I think I know what you mean.... I was the same, I never took sick-leave from work, even once I was diagnosed with depression and seeing a psychiatrist! If I had been kinder to myself and had some time off, then I might have got better sooner.

But I didn't know what I was doing and I didn't really understand my mental illness back then. 

@Former-Member, please don't think that your life is ruined. Try to think about it as a complete life change... but ultimately one that might be for the better. Be good to yourself. Give yourself a break.

You know that with bullies- I doubt they even realise what they are doing or how they effect people. They would have no idea!  They would be surprised to learn that their behavior would cause someone lasting pain.... because to them, their behavior is just "normal". Hard to believe, I know. 

So don't think of it as "They have won. They have beaten me".... because even though it seems unlikely- that was never their intention in the first place. They were just being their rotten selves.... and they will go on being themselves no matter what happens.

When I finally walked away from my stressful professional career- I honestly couldn't care less what anyone thought of me, by then.  I was just glad to get out and, to be honest- if I ended up scrounging for my dinner in a rubbish bin, due to having no job, then I believe I would have been happier anyway!