Hi @outlander
I seem to have heard my mother go on and on about how wonderful my sister most of my life - and so I get it that your little-sisters and your mother's bf being the most wonderful things in her ife is so hurtful to you - and so painful - it makes me wonder if she hears herself - I don't there is much of a future with her
And I know it's path - I have been there - and I think moving away from her for years at a time was the best thing for me - I could not please her and gave up trying. However that is also a terrible path to loneliness - and hard to overcome
HOWEVER - it seems to me you have no future and no life until you stand up to your mother - you have work so you have a degree of financial independence - but you are treated like a bl^^dy slave and this is wrong - what are your choices?
I stopped arguing with my mother when I figured out what my father said was true - if I was in the wrong I couldn't afford to argue and if I was in the right I didn't need to - and so I fell into a life-line pattern of non-argument - unless it was on my turf - and with my mother - I know she was so-n-so useless and ask myself what can you do?
Arguing with your mother isn't going to get much profit for you - but arguing and standing up for yourself is not the same thing - I did learn to stand up for myself - ah - yes - that was hard - but maybe this is a new idea - I don't know
But refuse to do what your mother doesn't appreciate anyway - tell her she has to take care of the kids because you have other things to attend to and you are going and go.
And it's not her business about your medication so don't tell her - but seeing as you are allowed antibiotics then hide them in an obvious place - let her find them and she might think she has the lot - so yeah - hide your other medication wherever it's secret enough - you are entitled
Your mother is just making the whole thing worse for you and this is so wrong - depression is a serious condition and your SI and SH is an important symptom and worries me.
You know about decisions - you need to make some - and of course - not trying to change anything is a decision too.
I was a married woman and I refused to do what my mother asked and I had my own life - it was intolerable even when I had my own home - but it was the same for me as for you in this respect - nothing I did pleased her so if I pleased myself and least I could be happy - pleasing her meant no one was happy.
So think about it - these are only suggestions - but doing what your mother wants all the time is driving your down down down. Your little sisters will be okay - they are horrible toward you anyway - what can get worse?
No one should be treated the way you are being treated - it is really cruel -
I am so sorry Outlander
Dec
